Disclaimer: The story below includes mention of abuse, bullying, eating disorders & suicidal ideation that can be triggering.

To tell you the truth, from my earliest memories, I felt luck wasn’t on my side. I was born in a middle class family in the suburbs of Buenos Aires. I am the youngest sibling of four. The unexpected one. The invisible one.

I experienced various situations that supported this feeling that life was just not meant to be enjoyed. My home environment severely lacked any type of emotional connection and support. I silently coped with forms of neglect coming from the same people who were supposed to love me or protect me. In fact, now I know they did love me, but they didn’t learn how to love me so that I felt loved. Unknown to my family, I experienced sexual abuse when I was a child.

Like any kid, I structured my personality around my experiences. I became withdrawn and highly introverted. The world was unsafe, and when forced to interact with others, I experienced severe anxiety.

In my early teenage years, I developed a combination of eating disorders as I started using food as a comfort mechanism. My emotional eating started then and it has been a constant crutch throughout my life. Unconsciously, gaining weight is a form of protection.

I suppressed many memories that have resurfaced since I started my own therapeutic journey. A particular harrowing memory comes from my time at school. I was 13 yrs. old. The boys had finished their PE class and now it was the girls’ turn. The boys would lay down on the grass, to enjoy watching the girls. The sun was bright and I always had a sweater on to cover myself. My cheeks  were so red from the heat and the embarrassment. We had to start every PE class with running. Every time I slowly ran in front of the boys, they would yell at me “You are disgusting! You need to go on a diet! Give up the desserts! You should kill yourself!”.

Sometimes, when I smell freshly cut grass, I return to that moment. It took me almost thirty years to admit that at one point in my life, in my teenage years, I had suicidal thoughts. The irony is that the same trauma I had since childhood was the one that saved me; I didn’t act on it because I didn’t want to inconvenience my family.

The worst part is that my story is not that uncommon. The statistics indicate that 1 in 3 girls will experience an unwanted sexual act and one out of five students will experience a form of bullying.

Every day, I look back at the little girl I was and I tell her she is loved. I have embraced my story because it means accepting every part of me. Today, I feel honest contentment in my heart and I am grateful for every opportunity life is giving me.

I have transformed my life in every aspect. I have had a successful corporate career. I became a confident out-spoken leader. I found my niche in developing employees to boost performance. I have a loving partner and we have built a beautiful family.

I am still a work in progress; but I have clarity on my values, my goals, my life purpose. I prioritize emotional balance and I am thriving. I did it and you can do it too.

Do you accept every part of you?

Love,

Celia